Courtesy of the author
- Growing up in the age of social media, I thought it determined my worth.
- Today, the same pressures of posting still exist in different ways.
- I limit my time on social media to escape the noise.
As a Gen-Zer, I grew up in the early phases of social media. I went through the trends, posted silly music videos with my sister on Vine (pre-TikTok), and, of course, I took many duck-face selfies and dog-ear filtered photos on Snapchat.
I tried so hard to fit in with the aesthetic of white borders around photos, collages, and throwback Thursdays. I took mirror selfies of my #OOTD before school and snapped artsy pictures of my mocha latte at the popular coffee shop. My VSCO app was always open, adding heavy filters and removing the blemishes I fixated on that only I noticed.
Now that I've gotten older, I'm carving out time away from social media to do things I love.
I was obsessed with how I looked on the screen
In high school, I was obsessed with my follower count, as were many of my peers. Likes, comments, and shares occupied my mind.
If a post didn't get a like within two minutes, I'd delete it and try again, often asking friends to like it and comment just to keep up with appearances. When I lost a follower, I'd look at an app to see who it was. I was constantly refreshing, hoping to get more than 100 likes in an hour.
I drove myself crazy.
My teen self, like many others, was constantly on the apps. Who's hanging out with whom? Whose house did I not get invited to? Where's the big party after the homecoming dance?
It left for sad nights and the pressure to appear a certain way on social media for intangible likes.
The pressure of social media follows into adulthood
Today, these same pressures continue to manifest in various ways as social media evolves and grows daily. Now, instead of focusing on likes, I get stuck in the endless scroll: seeing people my age move out of their parents' homes, get engaged, land dream jobs, or travel to extravagant places and resorts.
This creates comparison and self-doubt about what I am doing wrong, when the answer is nothing, I'm on my own path. However, social media makes it easy to compare myself and feel like I'm falling behind.
I try to set boundaries for my social media usage
As social media has changed over the years and apps try to suck us in for longer and longer, I have to change, too. I've learned to try to resist the pressures these apps create. During the week, I carve out time away from the screen, focusing on things that make me feel good about myself.
After work, I make time to attend my favorite group exercise classes at the gym, followed by a walk in the park, where I take in the natural surroundings. I only use my phone for music, not scrolling while walking.
I block out time for writing by putting my phone away to eliminate any outside noise. I turn off all notifications, enjoying the time away from the pings.
When going out with my family and friends, instead of constantly reaching for my phone to snap an Instagram story, I try to remain present, engaging in meaningful conversations and creating memories that will last a lifetime, rather than something for a random person to click on for a millisecond.
I'm not perfect
Instead of having the mindset of proving my self-worth to a bunch of followers, I've shifted to posting what I want to post, and it makes me feel good.
Now, I enjoy posting in ways that help me establish more connections with people in my career field — I seek to engage in meaningful conversations instead of just scrolling or chasing clout. I don't hesitate to post something that I'm proud of accomplishing and disregard what others' opinions may be.
Getting wrapped up in social media can be challenging, especially as my full-time job is as a social media and marketing manager. It's easy to start getting into your head and begin comparing yourself to others.
I often get trapped and start doomscrolling. And, trust me, I still do love posting a nice sunset or my favorite pasta dish at a restaurant. However, maintaining a mix of a positive mindset and simple practices to avoid the noise helps prove that my self-worth isn't defined by likes and follows.